I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She bit a glass in half.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
