If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
