"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
