wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
