I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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