You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
