i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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