Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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