I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
