My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
