dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
