the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
