Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
