I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
