I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
