This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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