its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
