so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
