party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize