there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
