but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
