A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
