Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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