I am spending my child support on dildos
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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