what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
