sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
