i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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