OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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