I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
