I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
