K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
