He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
