So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize