there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
