elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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