Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
