I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
