How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
