My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
