ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
