According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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