Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
