Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
