I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
