Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
