Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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