Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
