Buhtt sex?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
