He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
