she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
All I want is dick and wine.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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