come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just gift wrapped bread.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
