Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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