I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
