Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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