An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
