Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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