You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Terrible idea I love it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
