you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
