i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
