I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
