I swear she didn't look like that last week.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
